So, I've got this real problem in my brain-head. See, I've been told I'm a decent photographer, and I really enjoy doing it. The problem is self-esteem and self-hatred when it comes to my 'art' (work, photos, whatever you want to call it.). I have this possibly irrational fear that the feedback I've been getting is from the eyes of those who don't really know what they are talking about. I wonder what people who have the cash and experience to back up what they say would do if they saw my work at a gallery, or on a blog, or in a newspaper.
If I was one of those lucky few that get to look at and purchase art for a living, I wouldn't even give my work a second glance.
Whatever the reason for this, call it irrationality, common artist anxiety, what have you - because of this, I've been dragging my feet when it comes to creating new work, or even perusing my previous work. I try to blame other things, like a lack of the perfect lens, or taking care of my 9-month-old, or the weather, but I have this nagging suspicion that I'm no good at this stuff, and the career and life choices and the investments I've made have all been made in vain.
How many other photographers in this city are there that are trying so hard to do the exact thing I'm trying to do? It's hard to tell, but what work I've looked at intimidates me.
I feel I'm at a crossroads, there the distance between insanity and genius is measured only in success. Should I go all in on this photography/journalism thing, and hope that what I do out there can put food in my cupboards? Or should I go for the sure thing, and full-time it at some dead-end where I won't go anywhere, but at least I'm securing a future for my family. Before my daughter came into the world, it would've been easy to take the risks. 
Now, I'm not so sure.
Here's what seems to be the happy medium in this situation: Keep the photo/writing thing going, but try much harder to put the work out there. Get some photos that are known to please (there's gotta be some out there), and print the fuckers. Then, figure out some way to put them in a studio where someone who knows something will see them. Also, keep blogging. Keep putting the work out there.
Meanwhile, consider what IS sure in the money-making department, and try harder at those things. That way, the best of both worlds can be achieved.


So, I basically I'll have to develop a caffeine habit, and get up earlier. I can do that.